Most humans, Steve included, think that all we cats have to do is eat, sleep, clean ourselves, use our litter boxes and look cute.

NOT TRUE.

Although our humans may think otherwise, the fact is that we cats are extremely hard workers with a multitude of demanding tasks. Sure, we may sleep 20 hours a day, but we're not just a bunch of slackers who loaf around the house and sponge off our humans. We're not freeloaders. We earn our keep, 365 days a year. A cat's work is never done.
In order to help you edify your human as to just how busy we cats really are (and remind you of your duties in case you've forgotten them), I've listed some of our more significant jobs and responsibilities:

HUMAN GROOMING: Here’s an important task for you cats who, like me, have a female in the household. Sometimes, female humans tend to let their appearance slide a bit when they’re lounging around the house and no other humans are around. Well, we cats can't just “let ourselves go” anytime we want, and if we can’t, neither can they. So if your female human is sitting down reading or watching TV and her hair is a mess, it’s your responsibility to get up behind her and, with your emery board-like tongue, groom her as only a cat can. Also, with Steve’s female, I find that it’s often necessary to lick off her old moisturizer and give her a facial dermabrasion treatment to make her skin smooth and luminous. The fact is, fellow cat, we can’t have our female humans looking like charwomen, and it’s your responsibility to see that this doesn’t happen in your household.