One of the most satisfying things about being a cat is having carte blanche to exude an aura of mystery, secrecy and, if I might toot our own horns for a moment... superiority to all creatures on Earth, especially dogs. Because we're so naturally independent and clandestine, we cats have always (and quite rightly, I daresay) been a source of fascination, intrigue, and yes, even awe.
For centuries, humans have spent untold hours trying to learn our innermost secrets and figure out what makes us tick. What's going on in our little kitty brains (if anything) they wonder. Yet, despite the miracles of modern science, digital technology and other developments over the years, we've still got 'em completely flummoxed. Hey, they can invent obnoxious cell phones and annoying car alarms, but they can't even figure out what makes us purr. Poor saps. Hard as they try, they've just never been able to come up with the correct answers...
UNTIL NOW!
Yes, guys and dolls, mamas and papas, cats and kittens... for the first time ever – as a public service to your human and others like them – here are the definitive answers to the most puzzling, oft-asked questions about cats... questions that have stumped and stymied the finest human thinkers throughout time immemorial:
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| Q. |
Can cats see ghosts, spirits and poltergeists?
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| A. |
Yes.
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| Q. |
Do cats hear Jimi Hendrix guitar riffs in their heads?
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| A. |
Yes.
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| Q. |
When cats twitch and turn their ears, are they actually receiving radio signals from foreign agents?
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| A. |
Yes.
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| Q. |
Do cats have internal circuit breakers that blow and cause them to grab and claw their human's arm while receiving a tummy rub.
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| A. |
Yes.
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| Q. |
When cats sit in the middle of the living room floor with mystified looks on their faces, are they actually calculating the density of the universe?
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| A. |
Yes.
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